Khushi
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« Reply #42 on: May 26, 2006, 11:45:20 PM » |
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Guts !!
In a ship the Generals of three nations were traveling with their soldiers. They started the topic that whose soldier had more of guts.
The American general called for one of his men and told him to jump down the ship and take a round swimming around the moving ship. The soldier did as he was commanded and the general boasted of by saying "See the guts !"
Now the German general called out for one of his men and asked him to take two similar rounds. The soldier did as he was told.
When he came back from the water the German said, "See the guts."
Now the Indian General called out for his most courageous man, Santa and asked him to take five similar rounds.
Santa promptly replied, "Am I your dad`s servant?"
At this the general proudly said "See the guts".
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Khushi
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Khushi
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« Reply #43 on: May 26, 2006, 11:45:46 PM » |
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False alarms
An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset.
Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he figured that the latest episode was just that, so he stayed put.
Suddenly, however, he filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational. In a complete loss of composure, he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.
Banta was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. Banta started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently, in an attempt to free himself of the sheets. He ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.
As Banta stood there, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard who had witnessed the entire incident, walked up to him and asked, "What the heck is going on?"
Banta, still staring down at the sheets, replied, "I think I just beat the shit out of a ghost."
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with love
Khushi
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Vatsal
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« Reply #44 on: May 26, 2006, 11:51:10 PM » |
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Speech Impediment
Santa and Banta were enjoying a few drinks down at the local bar, when Santa said to Banta, "If I ask you a question, will you promise to answer me honestly?"
"Yeah, sure thing," replied his friend, "fire away."
"Well," said Santa, "why do you think all the guys around here find my wife so attractive?"
"It's probably because of her speech impediment," replied Banta.
"What do you mean her speech impediment?" inquired Santa, "My wife doesn't have a speech impediment!"
"Well," replied Banta, "you must be the only guy who hasn't noticed that she can't say 'NO'!"
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Khushi
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« Reply #45 on: May 26, 2006, 11:53:02 PM » |
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Best Goat !!
One day Santa was talking with a salesman about his goats. As they were talking the salesman noticed that one of the goats had a wooden leg. "What`s the deal with the goat with the wooden leg?" asked the salesman.
"Oh! That`s the best goat I`ve got, best goat I`ve ever had, could just be the best goat in the whole world!" said the farmer. "Six months ago, in the middle of the night our house caught fire. That goat crawled under the fence, ran to the house, beat on our bedroom window with his horns, woke us up and saved the lives of my whole family and me! That`s the best goat I`ve got, best goat I`ve ever had, could just be the best goat in the whole world!"
"Okay, okay!" said the salesman. "But what`s the deal with the wooden leg?"
"Well, heck" said Santa, "A good goat like that, you can`t eat him all
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Khushi
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Khushi
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« Reply #46 on: May 26, 2006, 11:53:23 PM » |
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Fencing!!
Three guys were trying to sneak into the Asian Games Village at Busan, South Korea to scoop souvenirs and autographs.
The first says, "Let`s watch the registration table to see if there`s a crack in the security system that we can utilize to scam our way in."Immediately, a burly athlete walks up to the table and states, "Fan Zhiyi. China. Shotput." He opens his gym bag to display a shotput to the registration attendant. The attendant says, "Very good, Mr. Fan Zhiyi. Here is your packet of registration materials, complete with hotel keys, passes to all Olympic events, meal tickets, and other information." The first guy gets inspired and grabs a small tree sapling, strips off the limbs and roots, walks up the registration table and states: "Chang Koehan. North Korea. Javelin." The attendant says, "Very good, Mr. Koehan. Here is your packet of registration materials, hotel keys, passes, meal tickets, and so forth. Good luck!"
The second guy grabs a street utility manhole cover, walks up to the registration table and states: "Hidetoshi Nakata. Japan. Discus."
The attendant says, "Terrific, Mr. Nakata. Here is your packet of registration materials, hotel keys, a full set of passes, and meal tickets. Enjoy yourself."
They scamper in, but suddenly realize that Banta is missing. They forgot to make sure he doesn`t do something stupid and blow their cover stories.
Just then Santa walks proudly up to the table with a roll of barbed wire under his arm and states: "Banta. Hoshiarpur, Punjab. FENCING." Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny
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Khushi
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Khushi
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« Reply #47 on: May 26, 2006, 11:54:23 PM » |
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Face To Face!!
Santa (tourists guide), was talking with a group of school kids at Zoo when one of the kids asked him if he had ever came face-to-face with a wolf.
"Yes, I came face to face with a wolf once. And as luck would have it, I was alone and without a weapon."
"What did you do?" the little girl asked.
"What could I do? First, I tried looking him straight in the eyes but he slowly came toward me. I moved back, but he kept coming nearer and nearer. I had to think fast."
"How did you get away?"
"As a last resort, I just turned around and walked quickly to the next cage." Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny
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Khushi
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