Khushi
Administrator
Elite Member
Karma: 4
 Offline
Gender: 
Posts: 998
|
 |
« Reply #30 on: May 26, 2006, 11:25:47 PM » |
|
The doctor told Santa that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he would loose 34 kilos.
At the end of 300 days, Santa called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem.
What is the problem?" asked the doctor.
I am 2400 kms from home."
|
with love
Khushi
|
|
|
Khushi
Administrator
Elite Member
Karma: 4
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 998
|
|
« Reply #31 on: May 26, 2006, 11:30:05 PM » |
|
Jumping Santa
Santa was asked to try out a new parachute with a radio link to a guy on the ground, the guy on the ground would say when to pull the release cord for the parachute.
Santa jumped out of the plane and started to fall when he reached a thousand feet the guy on the ground said ok pull the release cord now, Santa didn't take any notice and kept falling.
He got down to 500 feet and the guy on the ground said quick pull the cord you are getting close, but Santa just ignored him and kept falling.
He got down to 100 feet and the guy on the ground said quick pull the cord, Santa still ignored him.
He got down to 10 feet, the guy on the ground said this is your last chance you'll be killed if you don't pull the cord now.
Santa replied, "Thats ok. I can jump from here!!"
|
with love
Khushi
|
|
|
Khushi
Administrator
Elite Member
Karma: 4
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 998
|
|
« Reply #32 on: May 26, 2006, 11:30:27 PM » |
|
Fishing License
Banta was carrying a large fish in a bucket of water away from a lake, which was well known for its excellent fishing when a Fishery officer stopped him.
The officer says, "Do you have a fishing license?"
Banta replies, "Don't need a license, this is my pet fish."
"Pet fish?" the officer asked.
Banta answers, "Yes, every night I take my fish down to the lake and let him swim around for a while, then I whistle and he jumps up on shore and I put him in his bucket and we go back home."
"That's a bunch of baloney, fish can't do that."
Banta looks at the officer and says, "You want me to show you?"
Very curious now, the officer says, "O.K. I've got to see this"
Banta pours the fish into the lake then stands there waiting.
After a few minutes, the officer turns to Banta and says, "Well?"
"Well, What?" Banta says.
The Officer asks, "Are you going to call your fish back?"
"Fish! What fish?" Banta responds.
|
with love
Khushi
|
|
|
Khushi
Administrator
Elite Member
Karma: 4
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 998
|
|
« Reply #33 on: May 26, 2006, 11:33:16 PM » |
|
Play at night!
A foursome, including Banta, goes out on the course, only to find themselves waiting on every hole for the most inept golfers they've ever seen, who are playing in front of them.
After a few holes, they start yelling them, but that doesn't seem to speed their game up. By the time they've finished their round, they're so pissed off that they go straight to the golf pro to complain.
"Guys," he tells them, "those fellow you've been screaming at and taunting for the last three hours are blind".
"You're telling us," one of the irate foursome says.
"No, I meant it," the pro says, they're really blind. They're trying to overcome their handicap by participating in sports."
Now embarrassed, the first of the foursome says to the pro, "When they come in, fix them up with new golfers shoes, and put it on my tab."
The second guy adds, "And give them each a new set of club covers and put on my tab."
The third one chimes in, "Listen let them pick out a new golf shirt and put it on my tab."
They all stand there waiting for Banta to contribute something.
Noticing their stares, he says, "What? F***'em. Let'em play at night. Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny
|
with love
Khushi
|
|
|
Khushi
Administrator
Elite Member
Karma: 4
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 998
|
|
« Reply #34 on: May 26, 2006, 11:33:38 PM » |
|
Painful pinch!
As the crowded elevator descended, Banta's wife, Preeto, became increasingly furious with Banta, who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous girl.
As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the girl suddenly whirled, slapped Banta, and said, "That will teach you to pinch!"
Bewildered, Banta was halfway to the parking lot with Preeto when he choked, "I... I... didn't pinch that girl."
"Of course you didn't," said Preeto, consolingly, "I did."
|
with love
Khushi
|
|
|
Khushi
Administrator
Elite Member
Karma: 4
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 998
|
|
« Reply #35 on: May 26, 2006, 11:33:57 PM » |
|
Measuring Device!
Santa was in the dentist`s chair having a root canal done. Every so often the dentist would stick a large toothpick-like object into the tooth`s canal to see how far he had drilled. Each time, this thing caused Santa great pain, but whenever he complained the dentist replied, "Oh, that doesn`t hurt, it`s just a measuring device."
This happened a couple more times. Again Santa complained and again he got the same response. Finally Santa sat up in the chair, took all the stuff out of his mouth and looked straight at the dentist.
"Excuse me for a moment," Santa said. "I have to go out to my truck, get my tape measure and whack you in the head with it. It shouldn`t hurt, though. It`s just a measuring device." Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny
|
with love
Khushi
|
|
|
|
ENTERTAINMENT JUNCTION
