Khushi
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« Reply #18 on: May 05, 2006, 06:09:59 AM » |
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Sardar enters shop & shouts, "Where's my free gift
with this oil?" Shopkeeper: "ISke Saath koi gift
nahin hai bhaisaab" Sard : "Oye ispe likha hai
CHOLESTROL FREE!!"
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ONE FINE DAY A GIRL PROPOSED TO A SARDAR AND
SARDAR DENIED SIMPLY SAYING THAT IN OUR FAMILY, WE
MARRY ONLY OUR RELATIVES..
MY MOM MARRIED MY DAD, MY BROTHER MARRIED MY
BHABHI, MY UNCLE MARRIED MY AUNT AND SO ON. SO
PLEASE EXCUSE ME !!!!!
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Sardars went into a pub and after ordering two beers
took some sandwiches out of their pockets and
started to eat them. "You can't eat your own
sandwiches in here," complained the pub-owner. So
the two sardars swapped (exchanged) their
sandwiches.
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A sardar was very fond of sensational and detective
novels, but he always started reading from the
middle. A friend of his asked why he did so?"
It'z doubly interesting", said the Sardar. "TO start
from the middle keeps one curious not only about its
conclusion but also about its beginning.
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Once a Sardarji was going to his office. On the
way he slipped on a banana peel and was badly hurt.
Next day , on his way to the office, he noticed a
banana peel and Later after two days, he noticed
two banana peels and exclaimed" ari sala, aaj to
choice hai"!!!!!!
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A Sardar died and went to heaven. When he got to the
pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were
in effect due to the advances in education on earth.
In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly
soul must answer two questions: 1. Name two days
of the week that begin with "T". 2. How many
seconds are there in a year? The Sardar thought
for a few minutes and answered... 1. The two days
of the week that begin with "T" are Today and
Tomorrow. 2. There are 12 seconds in a year.
Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and
Tomorrow, even though it's not the answer I
expected, so your answer is correct. But how did you
get only 12 seconds in a year?" The Sardar
replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March
2nd, etc...." Saint Peter lets him in without
another word
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A Sardar, his wife with son and daugher went to a
party he introduced his family to his friends
saying.." I am Sardar.. and this is Sardarnee
...this is my kid and that is my kidney...!!"
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American says "US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai.."
Sardarji " India me to.. shaadi Fe-mail se hoti
hai...!!!"
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Q. What do you call a fat lady waiting for a bus?
A. Moti-vating..!!!
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Nurse - "Mubarak ho.. Sardarji.. aap papa ban
gaye.." Sardarji - " Meri wife ko nahi bolna..
main use surprise doonga..!"
_________________________________________________________
Dr Chopra psychotherapist wanted 'Sign board' to be
pained in front of his clinic but our Sardar painter
painted "Dr Chorpa Psycho The Rapist"
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What is the difference between WATCH & WIFE
......... Ek bigadti hai to bandh ho jati
hai...... Doosari bigadati hai to "SHUROO' ho jati
hai
________________________________________________________
Ek sardar apne bete se bola : Bevakuf, kaisa machis
leke aaya hai, ek bhi tili nahin jalti.
Beta : Kya baat karte ho papa, sab tili test
karke laya hu.
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Man runs home yelling "Pack your bags honey. I just
won the 10 Million lotto. Wife : Do I pack for the
beach or mountains ? Man : Who cares ? Just pack
and get lost !
________________________________________________________
Doctor to Sardaar : App ka aur aapki biwi ka blood
group ek hi hai? Sardaar : Hoga, Jarur hoga; 25
saalse mera khoon jo pee rahi hai....
________________________________________________________
Koun si devi ka kounsa prasad India mein famous hai
Rabridevi ka laloo prasad
________________________________________________________
A two seater plane crashed in a graveyard in Punjab
today.......
Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are
still.....digging for more.
________________________________________________________
Sardar found answer to most difficult question
question ever What comes first - the chicken or
the egg ?
Oye yaar, jiska order pahele dooge, wo ayega !!!
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with love
Khushi
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Vatsal
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« Reply #19 on: May 08, 2006, 10:36:48 AM » |
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About a century or two ago, the Pope decided that all the Sardars had to
leave Italy. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Sardar community.
So the Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member
of the Sardar community. If the Sardar won, the Sardars could stay. If
the Pope won, the Sardars would leave.
The Sardars realized that they had no choice. So they picked a middle
aged man named Santa Singh to represent them. Santa Singh asked for one
condition to be added to the debate. To make it more interesting, the
debate was to be conducted using sign language and neither side would be
allowed to talk. The Pope agreed.
The day of the great debate came. Santa Singh and the Pope sat opposite
each other for a full minute before the Pope raised his hand and showed
three fingers. Santa Singh looked back at him and raised one finger. The
Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head. Santa Singh pointed
to the ground where he sat. The Pope pulled out a wafer and a glass of
wine.
Santa Singh pulled out an apple.
The Pope stood up and said, "I give up. This man is too good. The
Sardars can stay. "
An hour later, the cardinals were all around the Pope asking him what
had happened. The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represent
the trinity. He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that
there was still one God common to both our religions. Then I waved my
finger around me to show him that God was all around us. He responded by
pointing to the ground and showing that God was also right here with us.
I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us from our
sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of original sin. He had an
answer for everything. What could I do?"
Meanwhile, the Sardar community had crowded around Santa Singh. "What
happened ?" they asked. "Well", said Santa Singh, "First he said to me
that the Sardars had three days to get out of here. I told him that not
one of us was leaving. Then he told me that this whole city would be
cleared of Sardars. I let him know that we were staying right here."
"And then?", asked the crowd.
"I don't know," said Santa Singh, "He took out his lunch and I took out
mine".
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Khushi
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« Reply #20 on: May 23, 2006, 10:27:11 PM » |
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Q. Why can't Sardar dial 911?
A. They can not find the eleven on the phone
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Q. What will a Sardarji do after taking photocopies?
A. He will compare it with the original for spelling mistakes !!
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Q. What will a sardarji do if he wants an additional white sheet of paper?
A. As he has already one with him, he takes a photocopy of the white paper !!!
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Q. Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?
A. Because below 18 was not allowed.
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Q. How do you measure a Sardar's intelligence?
A. Stick a tyre pressure gauge in his ear.
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Q. What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you?
A. Pull the pin and throw it back.
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Q. What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you?
A. Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his
mouth.
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Q. How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?
A. Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
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Q. Why do Sardars work seven days a week?
A. So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.
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Q. Why can't Sardars make ice cubes?
A. They always forget the recipe.
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Q. How did the Sardar try to kill the bird?
A. He threw it off a cliff.
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Q. What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear?
A. A wind tunnel.
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Q. What do you see when you look into a Sardar's eyes?
A. The back of his head.
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Q. Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms?
A. They think their picture is being taken.
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Q. Why does Sardar have "TGIF" written on their shoes?
A. Toes Go In First.
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Q. How can you tell when Sardar sends you a fax?
A. It has a stamp on it.
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Q. How do you get Sardar on the roof?
A. Tell him the drinks are on the house.
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Q. "Oh, look at the dead bird.
A. " Sardar looked skyward and said "Where, Where?
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with love
Khushi
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Khushi
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« Reply #21 on: May 26, 2006, 11:12:32 PM » |
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Remarriage !!!
Middle aged Santa and Jeeto were discussing life, and preparing wills. The conversation turned to remarriage...
Jeeto: If I should die first, will you remarry?
Santa: Probably, I wouldn`t like to spend the rest of my life alone.
Jeeto: Would you bring your new wife into our home that we have shared?
Santa: I don`t see why not. It would be empty, you wouldn`t be there.
Jeeto: Would you share the same bed we`ve shared?
Santa: Well, it`s a comfortable bed...
Jeeto: Would you let here wear my clothes?
Santa: Sure, if they fit. They are quite nice.
Jeeto: Would you let her use my golf clubs?
Santa: No way, Preeto is left handed.
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with love
Khushi
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Khushi
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« Reply #22 on: May 26, 2006, 11:12:58 PM » |
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Confusion of ownership !
Santa and Banta bought two horses.
Now the problem was that they could not differentiate between the two horses.
So,one day Santa cuts the left ear of his horse, so that it is easy to know that it is his horse.When he does so,an enemy of Santa sees him doing so.
This enemy cuts the left ear of Banta s horse. Santa and banta are confused.
So, next thing Santa cuts some body part of his horse and his enemy repeats the same on Bantas horse.
At last Santa s horse had no legs left and Banta s horse was with one leg only.
The enemy also went and cut Banta s horse one leg. So, in the morning it was the same sitaution , How to differentiate between their horses.So, after thinking and putting lots of effort to their mind - Santa said - O.K You keep the black one and I shall keep the white . Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny
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with love
Khushi
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Khushi
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« Reply #23 on: May 26, 2006, 11:13:28 PM » |
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Childbirth !
Santa`s son was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his mother, Jeeto, "How was I born?"
"Well dear..." said the embarrassed Jeeto, "the stork brought you to us."
"Oh," said the boy, "and how did you and daddy get born?"
"Oh, the stork brought us too," said Jeeto.
"Well how were grandpa and grandma born?" the boy persisted.
"Well darling, the stork brought them too!" said the frustrated Jeeto.
A few days later, the boy handed in his paper to the teacher who read with confusion the opening sentence:
"This report has been very difficult to write due to the fact that there hasn`t been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations."
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with love
Khushi
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