Banta was bragging to his boss one day," You know, I know everyone there
is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Banta how about
Tom Cruise?"

"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Banta and
his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure
enough,


Tom Cruise, shouts, "Banta! Great to see you! You and your friend come
right in and join me for lunch!" Although impressed, Banta's boss is
still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Banta that he
thinks Banta knowing Cruise was just lucky. "No, no, just name anyone
else,"

Banta says. "President Bush," his boss quickly retorts. "Yes," Banta
says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington." At the White House,
Bush spots Banta on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying,

"Banta, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and
your friend come on in and have a cup of coffee first." Well, the boss
is much shaken by now, but still not totally convinced.

After they leave the White House, he expresses his doubts to Banta, who
again implores him to name anyone else. "The Pope," his boss replies.


"Sure!" says Banta. "My folks are from Poland, and I have known the Pope
a long time."

So they fly to Rome. Banta and his boss are assembled with the masses in
Vatican Square when Banta says, "This will never work. I cannot catch
the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the
guards so let me just go upstairs and I will come out on the balcony
with the Pope." And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the
Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Banta emerges with the Pope on
the balcony. But by the time Banta returns, he finds that his boss has
had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.

Working his way to his boss's side, Banta asks him, "What happened?"

His boss looks up and says," I was doing fine until you and the Pope
came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who
is that on the balcony with Banta?"