Cool Definitions :
Father: A banker provided by nature.
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are
early.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Rumour: News that travels at the speed of sound.
Dictionary: The only place where divorce comes before marriage. College: A place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous homelife.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually
do.
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.
Marriage: It is an agreement in which a man loses his bachelors degree and woman gains her master's.
Worry: Interest paid on trouble before it falls due.
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine power is defeated by feminine power.
Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken off when dead.
Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you
actually look forward to the trip.
Optimist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a
river.
Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of
the first letter in the word OPPORTUNITY.
Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Criminal: A guy no different from the rest of us .... except that he got
caught.
Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and shakes your confidence after.
Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills

Conversation between Bill Gates and Laloo of Bihari Gates:

Namaskar! you must have heard of Windows.
Laloo: Oh yes! most
govt. offices we have the single window clearance concept.
Gates: At home have u installed Windows?
Laloo: I have removed all windows due to increased burgalaries in our house.
Gates(Confused): Then what is the system you operate on?
Laloo: OPERATION? Yes, I had a Hernia operation last month. Gates(Sweating): Hope the internet is being used a lot in India.
Laloo: Oh Yes! Due to increased mosquito problems many people are sleeping under the net.
Gates: By the year 2010 India should export computer chips.
Laloo: We are already exporting Uncle Chips.
Gates(Feeling very Uneasy): do you regularly use LapTops?
Laloo: My grand-child sleeps on the top of my lap.
Gates(Heavily Sweating): The Chief Minister of Andhra Pradesh knows a lot about RAM and ROM.
Laloo: RUM? Prohibition is being lifted and it will be shortly available in A.P..
Gates(Feeling Dizzy): I would like to take your leave before my system crashes.
Laloo: I have exhausted all my leave.
Gates: I have no energy left, let us go out and have a bite.
Laloo: BITE? I believe in non-violence. I will not bite. Gates:
(System Crashes and Found Missing). Windows is restarting. Please
wait.............