The patient furthest away from the nurses' station rings the call bell more often than the patient nearest to the nurses' station.
 
You always remember "just one more thing" you need after you've gowned, gloved, and masked and gone into that isolation room.
 
The correct depth of compression in adult CPR is a bit less than the depth you just reached when you broke those ribs.
 
When you cancel extra staff because it's so quiet, you are guaranteed a rash of admissions.
 
If you wear a new white uniform, expect to be thrown up on. Corollary: Residents always poop on your brand new shoes.
 
There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work.
 
When management smiles at you, be afraid, very afraid ...
 
Staffing will gladly send you three aides--but you have to float two of your RNs.
 
As soon as you discontinue the IV line, more fluids will be ordered.
 
Mandatory meetings are always scheduled after you've had the night from hell and just want to go home to bed.
 
You always forget what it was you wanted after you get to the supply room. You always remember when you get back to the other end ...
 
Doctors only ask your name when the patient isn't doing well.
 
Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the boss is watching.
 
The more sophisticated the equipment, the longer it takes to get repaired.
 
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
 
As soon as you've ordered the pizzas, 25 patients show up at the ER registration desk along with three ambulances all with cardiac arrest