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Ryan Martis
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« Reply #1 on: August 06, 2009, 02:25:36 AM » |
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Politician:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
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Doctor:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
Boss:
Someone who comes early when you are late and is late when you come early.
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Classic:
Books, which people praise but do not read.
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Compromise:
The art of dividing a cake that everybody believes he got the largest piece.
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Committee:
A group of individuals who can do nothing individually but sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
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Conference:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
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Conference Room:
A venue where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody agrees later.
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Dictionary:
A place where pay, reward and success come before work.
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Doctor:
A medical person who kills your ills by pills and kills you with bills.
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Etc.:
A grammatical sign used to make people believe that you know more than you do.
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Experience:
The name men give to their mistakes.
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Father:
A banker provided by nature.
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Lecture:
The art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to that of the students without going through the brains of either.
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Life Insurance:
A contact that keeps you poor all your life so that you can be rich after.
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Marriage:
An agreement where a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
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Nurse:
A person who wakes you to give you sleeping pills.
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Office:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous homely life.
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Philosopher:
A man who torments himself all his life to become wise after death.
Politician:
Someone who shakes your hand before the elections and your confidence after.
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Saturday and Sunday:
Are strong days as the others are weak days (weekdays).
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School:
A place where Papa pays and son plays.
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Smile:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
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Tears:
A hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
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Yawn:
The only time a husband can open his mouth.
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School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.
Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you
can die Rich.
Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and
a woman gains her masters.
Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by
feminine waterpower.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the
Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds
of either"
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody
believes he got the biggest piece.
Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and
everybody disagrees later on.
Father : A banker provided by nature.
Criminal : A guy no different from the rest...except that he got caught.
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence
after.
Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
Classic Books: which people praise, but do not read.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually
do.
Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide
that nothing can be done together.
Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher : A fool who pain himself during life, to be spoken of when
dead.
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